The Jewish high holidays celebrate the birthday of creation and call humanity to reflect, repent, and recommit to the healing of the world. When you reflect on your life, you bump into death as well, so the holidays are also a confrontation with life's fragility and death's mystery.
On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed
On Yom Kippur it is sealed.
Here is a humorous and deep offering from Leonard Cohen
And who by fire,
who by water,
who in the sunshine,
who in the night time,
who by high ordeal,
who by common trial,
who in your merry merry month of may,
who by very slow decay,
and who shall I say is calling?
And who in her lonely slip,
who by barbiturate,
who in these realms of love,
who by something blunt,
and who by avalanche,
who by powder,
who for his greed,
who for his hunger,
and who shall I say is calling?
And who by brave assent,
who by accident,
who in solitude,
who in this mirror,
who by his lady's command,
who by his own hand,
who in mortal chains,
who in power,
and who shall I say is calling?
Sunday, September 16, 2007
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1 comment:
Another good Rosh Hashanah bit of humor!
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As we all know, there is a Rosh Hashanah custom called Tashlich, which means, "to cast away."
Jews traditionally go to a body of water and throw breadcrumbs into the water; symbolically, "casting away" their sins.
Occasionally, people ask what kind of breadcrumbs should be thrown. Here are suggestions for breads, which may be most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviors:
For ordinary sins
White Bread
For erotic sins
French Bread
For particularly dark sins
Pumpernickel
For complex sins
Multi-Grain
For twisted sins
Pretzels
For tasteless sins
Rice Cakes
For sins of indecision
Waffles
For sins committed in haste
Matzoh
For sins of chutzpah
Fresh Bread
For substance abuse
Stoned Wheat
For use of heavy drugs
Poppy Seed
For petty larceny
Stollen
For committing auto theft
Caraway
For timidity/cowardice
Milk Toast
For ill-temperedness
Sourdough
For silliness, eccentricity
Nut Bread
For not giving full value
Shortbread
For jingoism, chauvinism
Yankee Doodles
For excessive irony
Rye Bread
For unnecessary chances
Hero Bread
For telling bad jokes/puns
Corn Bread
For war-mongering
Kaiser Rolls
For dressing immodestly
Tarts
For causing injury to others
Tortes
For lechery and promiscuity
Hot Buns
For promiscuity with gentiles
Hot Cross Buns
For racist attitudes
Crackers
For sophisticated racism
Ritz Crackers
For being holier than thou
Bagels
For abrasiveness
Grits
For dropping in without notice
Popovers
For over-eating
Stuffing
For impetuosity
Quick Bread
For indecent photography
Cheesecake
For raising your voice too often
Challah
For pride and egotism
Puff Pastry
For sycophancy, ass-kissing
Brownies
For being overly smothering
Angel Food Cake
For laziness
Any long loaf
For trashing the environment
Dumplings
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